I can't say that I really miss Michael Jackson much (...ok, breaking ground as a black celeb or what-have-you is good and all, but honestly? People are totally forgetting all the child-molesting things he's done. Sorry. For once, I'm trumpeting 'remember the children.' Yeah, mark it down that I did that for once...)

But Billie Maes? The worst thing he ever did was sell things loudly and obnoxiously, and if it really got that bad, you just hit 'mute' or went to bed because you were awake at 3:14 AM watching TV like some kind of brain-dead zombie.