I'm not reading the stuff on the Susan Cooper books because I plan on reading them for myself. As soon as my holds come in :-P

I have not read Graceling either, but I just wanted to comment to say that I completely agree with your thoughts about how marriage/long-term monogamy is handled in strong female characters.

Also, I would loooove to read a story with the plot that you sort of cooked up as an example of a non-tradditional relationship :D