jade_sabre (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jade_sabre) wrote2007-04-10 05:22 pm
jade_sabre) wrote2007-04-10 05:22 pm
One Day I Will Learn
(subtitled: Today Is Not That Day)
Every. Time.
Every time I think, "Oh, I'll see if there's anything new that's worth reading in the HP section of fanfiction.net."
Every time I foolishly wander over to look.
And EVERY DAMN TIME I COME ACROSS A DRAMIONE FIC.
(edit: Disclaimer: This is what I found, just on the first page of HP fanfiction in general. It's titled "Waiting for You" and the summary reads “This might come as a shock to you, but I’m going to say it anyway.” He took a big breathe and then exhaled. “I want you to marry me.” Clearly I still have a lesson to learn about clicking on stories with typos in the summaries, but still. It was just an innocent, curious click! /edit)
PEOPLE. GET OVER YOURSELVES. AND STOP PUTTING THEM TOGETHER.
I mean, you don't even have the slash thing going for you ("but I slash everything that moves together!" well, fine, you're still insane, but at least there's a name for it. "Even Worf/Spot?" NO. GET YOUR SICKO MIND AWAY FROM THE INTERNET). You're just...putting together two characters...who have less than any chemistry. Or a chance. You're worse than the Harmonians. I mean, honestly. Geeze.
Okay, I ship Draco/Ginny, which may not be canon either, but at least it hasn't been completely anhiliated by canon. I don't think it would ever happen, but there's the slightest possibility that maybe it might happen. Plus, Ginny's character is fieryredheadtemper+Harrythinksshe'shot, so there's a lot more speculation there.
But Hermione? Hermione and Draco? It's like trying to write a fic in which Ron is not only accepting that Ginny and Draco get together, but where he's also downright excited because hey, he always wanted Draco for a brother! Do you see my point? IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE. (Unless you're an idiot and managed to completely misinterpret the books which, hey, if you're shipping Dramione, there's a chance of that happening.)
I mean, I'll sort of put up with the Harmonians, because they're justenslaved delusional clinging onto some idea that hey, when you first start reading the books, if you somehow missed the Ron/Hermione chemistry, you might think the hero would get the main girl, and it's happened elsewhere, so maybe if you somehow missed the anvils it could happen. I still disagree with them, but there's toleration, and of course, the dreaded pity. (I don't pity the ones who left the series because they felt JKR betrayed them, though. Leave the series because Hermione went wacko in HBP, not because the author had a plan in mind that disagreed with yours.)
But Dramionians? They just look "OH PROTAGONIST AND ANTAGONIST THAT ALWAYS WORKS OUT" except it just doesn't. There is nowhere, in all of the books, the slightest hint of proof that Hermione and Draco would ever get along. And not just romantically; platonically, they're not suited for each other. Hermione looks down on Draco because he's a bully and Draco looks down on Hermione because she's a Mudblood. Seeing as she's not going to be able to change that, it would require drastic character change on Draco's part for them even to be able to approach each other. I mean, Hermione's been dealing with bullies her whole life; she's a smart kid who gets ostracized because of her zeal. She is never going to warm to Draco until he stops being such a jackass. And while that might happen, it's not going to be for a long time, and by then she'll have married Ron. Because they do have chemistry, and they are friends, and while he might be a prat she is attracted to him and thus they are together.
I generally like to think of myself as not a shiphater, but I manage that by avoiding other people's ships. I mean, I ship some weird things, mostly for experimental writing value (or reallyhot smex good authors), and so I try to be open-minded to other people's ideas. And many of my ships are not canon, because I do like things that explore different characters--but the exploration must have some canonical basis. I ship Zuko and Katara because hey, you start with their canon characters, you build on it, and you could end up with a relationship--based on who they are as people. Same with Kakasaku--they might not be together in canon, but once she growns up, you can take Kakashi the genius Copy Ninja and Sakura the really smart nurse, and throw them in a room together, and they'll talk, and maybe something could blossom.
If you threw Hermione and Draco in a room together, Draco would end up petrified on the floor, unless he's miraculously able to cast Avada Kedavra on her first (no, I don't think he'd have qualms about killing her, like he did about Dumbledore--well, maybe, but certainly not about Cruciating her). Maybe, maybe, if I were to find a really good author who wrote a post-Hogwarts fic, started out with a canonical treatment of the characters, made them grow in believable ways, and then brought them together, I would respect it.
But while Draco and Hermione are at Hogwarts--and I can say this now especially since we have six books out about their time there together--there is no chance in hell that they would ever get together. Ever. Period. And that goes beyond the fact that we have documentation of what was going on during those six years, and thus it's a pretty safe bet nothing happened. It goes down to how they've interacted, and more importantly, who they are as characters.
Wow. I ranted on about that a lot longer than I intended to. Recently I've discovered that I can still discuss Harry Potter at great lengths without even having to gear myself up for it. It must be more deeply ingrained on my brain than I realized.
*wanders off to find some Snape/Narcissa*
Every. Time.
Every time I think, "Oh, I'll see if there's anything new that's worth reading in the HP section of fanfiction.net."
Every time I foolishly wander over to look.
And EVERY DAMN TIME I COME ACROSS A DRAMIONE FIC.
(edit: Disclaimer: This is what I found, just on the first page of HP fanfiction in general. It's titled "Waiting for You" and the summary reads “This might come as a shock to you, but I’m going to say it anyway.” He took a big breathe and then exhaled. “I want you to marry me.” Clearly I still have a lesson to learn about clicking on stories with typos in the summaries, but still. It was just an innocent, curious click! /edit)
PEOPLE. GET OVER YOURSELVES. AND STOP PUTTING THEM TOGETHER.
I mean, you don't even have the slash thing going for you ("but I slash everything that moves together!" well, fine, you're still insane, but at least there's a name for it. "Even Worf/Spot?" NO. GET YOUR SICKO MIND AWAY FROM THE INTERNET). You're just...putting together two characters...who have less than any chemistry. Or a chance. You're worse than the Harmonians. I mean, honestly. Geeze.
Okay, I ship Draco/Ginny, which may not be canon either, but at least it hasn't been completely anhiliated by canon. I don't think it would ever happen, but there's the slightest possibility that maybe it might happen. Plus, Ginny's character is fieryredheadtemper+Harrythinksshe'shot, so there's a lot more speculation there.
But Hermione? Hermione and Draco? It's like trying to write a fic in which Ron is not only accepting that Ginny and Draco get together, but where he's also downright excited because hey, he always wanted Draco for a brother! Do you see my point? IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE. (Unless you're an idiot and managed to completely misinterpret the books which, hey, if you're shipping Dramione, there's a chance of that happening.)
I mean, I'll sort of put up with the Harmonians, because they're just
But Dramionians? They just look "OH PROTAGONIST AND ANTAGONIST THAT ALWAYS WORKS OUT" except it just doesn't. There is nowhere, in all of the books, the slightest hint of proof that Hermione and Draco would ever get along. And not just romantically; platonically, they're not suited for each other. Hermione looks down on Draco because he's a bully and Draco looks down on Hermione because she's a Mudblood. Seeing as she's not going to be able to change that, it would require drastic character change on Draco's part for them even to be able to approach each other. I mean, Hermione's been dealing with bullies her whole life; she's a smart kid who gets ostracized because of her zeal. She is never going to warm to Draco until he stops being such a jackass. And while that might happen, it's not going to be for a long time, and by then she'll have married Ron. Because they do have chemistry, and they are friends, and while he might be a prat she is attracted to him and thus they are together.
I generally like to think of myself as not a shiphater, but I manage that by avoiding other people's ships. I mean, I ship some weird things, mostly for experimental writing value (or really
If you threw Hermione and Draco in a room together, Draco would end up petrified on the floor, unless he's miraculously able to cast Avada Kedavra on her first (no, I don't think he'd have qualms about killing her, like he did about Dumbledore--well, maybe, but certainly not about Cruciating her). Maybe, maybe, if I were to find a really good author who wrote a post-Hogwarts fic, started out with a canonical treatment of the characters, made them grow in believable ways, and then brought them together, I would respect it.
But while Draco and Hermione are at Hogwarts--and I can say this now especially since we have six books out about their time there together--there is no chance in hell that they would ever get together. Ever. Period. And that goes beyond the fact that we have documentation of what was going on during those six years, and thus it's a pretty safe bet nothing happened. It goes down to how they've interacted, and more importantly, who they are as characters.
Wow. I ranted on about that a lot longer than I intended to. Recently I've discovered that I can still discuss Harry Potter at great lengths without even having to gear myself up for it. It must be more deeply ingrained on my brain than I realized.
*wanders off to find some Snape/Narcissa*
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Sorry to burst any bubbles.. >.> However, I do understand where you are coming from. I used to read a lot of HP fanfic, and all I could find were Draco/Hermione fics. I couldn't find any of the fics that I wanted. It was really annoying.
By the way, Snape/Narcissa fanfics were so hard to find. So I wrote my own. If you're interested in reading them, they are on my journal. I protected all my fanfics though. I can send them to you if you like ;-)
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I tried to qualify the Draco/Ginny with a "no chance in hell" thing either. My thing is that we know less about Ginny, so it's not quite as impossible...even though they're both Never Going to Happen. I'm quite comfortable knowing that it's not going to happen, canonically speaking. However, going with the "put them in a room and see what happens"...under very special circumstances, it might. (Read: circumstances that are apparently only in my brain, and thus need coaxing in order to see the light of day.)
I mean, back in the day, I only haunted Sugar Quill, so I was mostly safe from all the shipping wars and the nonsense fandom wank--I read HQoW and After the End and enjoyed my time (wait: I do know where the idea of Draco/Ginny came from. Curse you, Arabella!). Then I came to livejournal, and started discovering all the stuff I had missed...including Draco/Hermione. And Worf/Spot. And then my brain exploded.
I think I read yours and greatly enjoyed them--I'll have to double-check though.
I know! I'm especially having trouble finding post-HBP ones where he's not evil. Gah. You'd think the Snape fans would be sticking up for him...oh, well, I found this one-shot (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3117086/1/) earlier today, and it was pretty good.
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Haha. Sugar Quill? I've never heard of that place before. I only frequent Fanfiction.net (ugh, horrible..) -- I honestly didn't know there were other fanfiction archives when I was younger.
Ooh, haha. I wanted to make an entire damn series..
HOMG THANKS. You have no idea how much I like my Potions master :D
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Oh, man, I loved the Sugar Quill. Oh, to be thirteen and wanting nothing more than to make friends with Arabella again...
I only found ff.net because of Star Wars Chicks, and I only found Sugar Quill because I found the authors on ff.net first. And from there I occasionally went to Schnoogle. But rarely.
LOL, I completely understand. (Part of my Draco love is for the potential for foils in his life. And then, if you parallel unrequired!Snape/Lily with Draco/Ginny...the possibilities are endless! XD)
lol, there is a Harmonian on your f-list!
Dude, it's fanfiction. Canon or not, some people are going to ship what they want. If M&B came out and said Zutara stood no chance in hell, you'd probably still ship it.
That's what I love about the Avatar fandom. We might have our little ship 'wars', but they aren't that bad. For the most part, everyone respects each other's ships (minus the occassional troll, but hey, no one's perfect), 90% of us multi-ship, and everyone crack!ships. It's a blast, and there's less arguing and fussing.
(except for the forums, but I've basically decided that those places are evil and ought to be avoided.)
I do miss the fanfiction from the Harry Potter fandom, though. That was one thing you could count on: there was always a fanfic somewhere. In Avatar, you have to dig and wait a bit, but with HP, there was always something.
(and hey, I'm a H/Hr person don't be mean. >.< ::emotear::)
jak
Re: lol, there is a Harmonian on your f-list!
[/jk]
Re: lol, there is a Harmonian on your f-list!
*inner!Jade whines "but why does it have to be a bad ship?"**otherinner!Jade slaps inner!Jade*I do have the same feelings about the Avatar fandom shipping. Multiships and crack!ships just spread the love.
(indeed.)
I know! Wanna read about Ron cutting himself while shaving? It's there! Narcissa and Pettigrew getting it on? There too! All you have to do is filter the characters! GENIUS.
(aw, crap, I knew someone was gonna get ticked off...well...*offers tissue, being a Ron/Hermione shipper and not knowing what to do in these situations* chocolate?)
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I don't watch Avatar orrrr Naruto, so nothin' to say about that.
Snape/Narcissa? That's an interesting possibility... OOH OOH OHH! What will happen if you throw Snape and Bellatrix in a room together with seven monkeys? Sorry, I'm kind of stuck with the whole "two HP charries in a room together" thing :p
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I ship Snape/Narcissa--oh, it's convoluted, but in my head I've got it worked out that Snape and Lily were friendsish, and Cissy was a friend of Snape's and ended up hanging out with Lily too (incognito of course, and this really only works if Cissy was in the same year as them--I don't know what the canonical status on that was), and so Snape was all "♥ Lily" and Lily was all like "sorry ♥ James you should marry Cissy and the two of you should stay out of what's coming" and Cissy's all like "oops married Lucius" and Snape's all like "GAH ANGST VOLDEMORT" and
you know, I should just finish the fanfic I started about all this. *headdesk*
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....I am so not kidding about the second one.
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"What's wrong?" I asked.
She took a deep breath. "I found out what a slash fic was."
Now, I had never read a slash fic, but I'd seen enough summaries to figure it out. "Oh no!" I said. "Don't tell me you read one!"
"I did," she said miserably. "It was Lucius/Snape."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH," said I.
that is pretty creepy, though. Sick joke, I hope?
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I think the worst part for me was when Snape transfigured the Dursleys into cockroaches and put them in a glass jar so they could watch him and Harry smex it up in Vernon and Petunia's room.
...
Yeah, it's a pretty vivid memory.
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I'm sorry. *consoles*
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In related news, the internet this summer (specifically July 21st and the following weeks) is going to be about fifteen thousand kinds of awesome.
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(is it sad that I'm slightly excited about this?)
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As for the Voldemort/Trevor one... It was something about how Voldemort possessed a lot of animals when he was in his vapor-state, and one of them was a toad. Yeah, I dunno, there's something really wrong with some people.
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You display a remarkable amount of common sense for someone involved in any fandom to any extent.