(no subject)

[jade_sabre]

so today in class my fiction writing professor passed around a bag full of little white pills and instructed each of us to take one. 

Turns out they were Lactaid pills, to ward off the cheese.

he then went on to describe the literary landscape of America (New England:  where stories are always set in collegetowns in the fall, and at least one character is a professor; Southwest, where everything is New Age and people hug rocks), and described the South as "trailer parks and inbreeding."  I was all prepared to protest when I remembered that my response for last week's story was Morgan/Arthur.  Oops.

Comments

[mysteree80.livejournal.com]

Ha, your Arthurian closer makes up for your professor's caricaturesque regional stereotypes. (Though, if the reality of the literary landscape in America does actually reflect what he's saying, that's sad.)

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

Oh yay, you got the humor. :-b

Wait, I made a list...I didn't catch everything he said (also, it is impossible to show how his drawing of the States looked like a three-legged cat with its head turned), but we have...

New England
Collegetwon in the fall

NYC
everyone's hip and parties until four in the morning and goes into work at noon and has a lot of disposable income

Mid-Atlantic
is like Virginia and Maryland and [I would say Eastern] North Carolina and has a lot of ex-politicians or senators' sons and everyone works in the government or the military, very political, and also they have kind of an inferiority complex 'cause they're not NYC, but on the other hand NYC will never be them

South
is trailer parks and inbreeding and people marrying their cousins

Florida
is a lot of NE transplants, except they're old and pushing around their oxygen bags

Texas
is huge and proud of it, but has an inferiority complex with the NE because they know no one will ever take them as seriously

Southwest
New Age stuff, going into the desert to find yourself and rubbing your nose against stones and stuff

Great Middle West
stocky blonde people of the earth, good hearty workers who don't understand irony/sarcasm/cyncisim, often leave the GMW and go either to California or the NE and come back maimed yet better for the experience

California
first there's Hollywood and all that stuff, plus a lot of commuting between Hollywood and NYC, but there's also--like Texas--a gateway to Mexico thing, so you get a lot of "multi-culti" fiction. Occasionally there are NE transplants, and as you go further north you get into obscenely rich areas

Northwest
everyone wears shorts and sweaters and hiking boots and drinks a lot of coffee and works for Microsoft and claims to love Nature while depleting it willingly. Has inferiority complexes with everyone, even the GMW

someone then pointed out that he'd left out states like Nevada, at which point he said that was a weird place because you got things like Nevada=Nirvana, and not the band.

:-)

[loquaciousquark.livejournal.com]

it's a good thing your professor isn't a psychopath. "CULTIST PROFESSOR OFFERS SECRET CYANIDE PILLS, STUDENTS DOWN THEM LIKE SHEEP, NEWS AT 11."

also what is it about that icon that makes me want to punch scarlett o'hara in the forehead?

edited because this icon is so relevant in so many different ways

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

WE DIDN'T EAT THEM we are supposed to keep them by our writing stations and remember to avoid the cheese so we don't have to take them.

I...don't know? Maybe you're just jealous that she just woke up after a good night's rest after the best sex of her life, and you didn't?

edited because this icon is better than yours

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

Although I have to say, in retrospect, you're the most amazing person ever. Every time I talk to you I think more and more about reading Ouran, but then I decide not to at the last minute because I enjoy watching you squirm about one of the best things to ever happen that you can't tell me because I'm a huge pansy spoilerphobe.

See, you just bring out the honesty in me. Normally it hides so far down I can't even glimpse it.

[loquaciousquark.livejournal.com]

<3

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

It would probably help if I had the link to the Ouran.

Just sayin'.

[joodeeunit005.livejournal.com]

here you go (http://www.google.com/search?q=read+ouran+online&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a)

[keestone.livejournal.com]

So. . . is the stereotype of the West crunchy granola or Bret Easton Ellis-type morally bankrupt Hollywood freaks?

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

tee-hee. Scroll up; I typed up the entire list.

[mcredhead.livejournal.com]

"everyone wears shorts and sweaters and hiking boots and drinks a lot of coffee and works for Microsoft and claims to love Nature while depleting it willingly. Has inferiority complexes with everyone, even the GMW"

Umm....yeah, that's the Northwest. Only in Boise we work for Micron. And the inferiority complex...and...yeah. Pretty much.

Also, depleting nature. WHY DO WE WANT TO HUNT WOLVES? WHY???????

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

:-D my professor is pretty awesome. except for the part where he was pronouncing "Fontenot" as "Fon-ten-ott" today.