READER, TAKE HEED

[jade_sabre]

Bear:: BABY DO U HAVE A BANDAID
CAUSE I SRAPED MY KNEE WHEN I FELL FOR U
SCRAPED

me: ONOEZ

Bear:: NOT S RAPED

me: I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO LICK IT BETTER TOO
OOPS

Bear:: OMGGGG OH NO U DI'INT

me: OSNAP
MY SALIVA TURNS YOU INTO A VAMPIRE
D:
I ALWAYS FORGET ABOUT THAT

Bear:: OH NOOO
That probably leads to a lot of awkward conversations the next morning

me: yeah
:/

Bear:: worst std ever

me: >sdkjflasdfjad omg yes

Bear:: i mean, penicillin aint gonna cut that
you stuck with that for eternity

me: and you lose your immortal soul in the bargain
awkward

Bear:: also, that whole having to kill people thing

me: the blood sucking

Bear:: how to explain to mom and dad

me: I mean what if you don't like the taste of blood
oh God mom and dad are RIGHT OUT

Bear:: theyre going to be so disappointed
i mean, your grades are going down the potty, no doubt, you cant even GO to class

me: forget college!
forget that corporate career!
how're you going to make a living?
CAN YOU EVEN SUPPORT YOURSELF

Bear:: i guess steal from the people you kill
THATS A PISS POOR FUTURE
LOOK AT YOUR LIFE LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES

me: NOW WRITE AN EMO POEM IN YOUR JOURNAL AND MOVE ON

Bear:: YOU STUPID BITCH

me: SHE'S A STUPID BITCH

Bear:: This has been an Aesop's Tale for our modern times
truly, we can all learn a lesson from this
Dont slut around with vampires

me: <3<3<3
may I share with LJ?

Bear:: PLEASE
everyone needs to know of these perils we face in this, the day of the twihard

me: TRUFAX
AMEN SISTER
PREACH IT

Bear:: BE SAFE
WRAP THOSE FANGS B4 U BITE IT

Comments

[nekohooch]

This is hilarious.
And referencing 'Sassy Gay Friend' FTW~ XD

[emerald-happy.livejournal.com]

ahahah I remember when I told you you need a 'life is a sitcom' tag and I was so right

Love you both *glomps*

[willow-41z.livejournal.com]

I think there's a Scott Westerfield book along these lines-- the one about the weird stuff in the New York sewers, where the main character is "Cal."

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

Yes! Um, Peeps? *goes to look* That's right--Peeps. Funny story, that's the one book club/book review blog entry I had to censor. 8th grader wrote a review of that book and he said that the vampire virus spreads "through blood, saliva, and semen, so the vampires have to be careful who they have sex with" and I was all like YOU CANNOT WRITE THAT IN OUR SCHOOL BOOK CLUB BLOG I WILL LOSE MY JOB.

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

I believe he used the word "condom," too, now that I think about it.

[beth-shulman.livejournal.com]

HA HA HA this is hilarious!

And it's true! If you can't predict the future and therefore get rich off the stock market (oh why do I know this I blame my cousin) how do you live as a vampire?

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love you guys. You are the awesomest.

[styromgalleries.livejournal.com]

XD