adventures of Quark and Jade

[jade_sabre]

Alternative Title: Gone to Ferelden, brb.

three days ago
Jade: Lo, Dragon Age Origins is on sale! I shall purchase it for under thirty dollars! jakia's fanfics will finally make sense to me! Praise the...Maker? Is that the deity in this game?

an hour later
Jade: Finally! It has loaded on my computer! ...what do you mean, I'm missing a DirectX file? What kind of deity is this Maker guy anyway?



two days ago
Jade: Oh pater omnipotens, mayest I install this DirectX file to yonder computer?
Daddy: Um, I'll tell you when I get home.

one eight-hour workday later
Daddy: All right, it should work now.
Jade: Yes! I have, like, an hour to play! Let's see how much I can do!

forty-five minutes later
Jade: I have finally decided on a character name! At last, the character generation stage is over! How much time do I have to play?
Daddy: ...



yesterday, five p.m.
Jade: Hey, Quark! Want to come over?
Quark: Sure!

ten minutes later
Quark: So, what're you doing?
Jade: Oh, it's this new game I got. Wanna see?

fifteen minutes later
Quark: ...lemme just write down the specs of this game so I can, uh. Compare my home computers. To it.

twenty minutes later
Jade: omg hi there Alistair.
Quark: omg is he a companion.
Jade: omg yes he is.
Quark: omg.
Jade: omg.

two hours later
Quark: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED.
Jade: Wow, that was...overkill.
Quark: SER JORY WHYYYYYYYYYYYY omg that Loghain guy, so evil.

twenty minutes later
Jade: But it wouldn't even make sense for Loghain to betray the king. I mean, the darkspawn! So evil! Taking over the world! That would just be--

forty minutes later
Jade: STUPID OGRE.

five minutes later
Jade: --that guy has to be the BIGGEST IDIOT ARGH.
Quark: Told you so.

thirty minutes later
Quark: omg Alistair.
Jade: omg he is angsty! little angst muffin!
Quark: omg.
Jade: omg.

ten minutes later
Jade: Ooooooooooh, that's why they ship it.
Quark: They do what?

thirty minutes later
Jade: OMG A PUPPY.
Quark: OMG.
Jade: OMG.
Quark: Puppy!
Jade: OMG IT IS MINE. WHAT SHOULD I NAME IT.
Quark: Hammertime!
Jade: ...
Quark: So that way, whenever you want it to stop, you call, "Stop, Hammertime!"
Jade: ...
Quark: ...or you could take a name out of James Herriot's Dog Stories.

one hour later
Little boy: HAVE YOU SEEN MY MOTHER?
Jade: Uh. No?
Little boy: WHERE IS SHE?
Jade: Maybe you should go to the church and they'll take care of you.
Little boy: AFTER I LOOK FOR MY MOTHER!
Quark: ...you just got that little boy killed.
Jade: I DID NOT.

one hour later
Quark: Holy crap, it's midnight. I've been here for...hours.
Jade: I've been playing for...hours.
Quark: How many?
Jade: ...ten?
Quark: ...well. I'll just. Call you tomorrow.


today, eleven a.m.
Jade's phone: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everbody--
Jade: Hello?
Quark: GUESS WHAT I JUST BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUGHT.

one hour later
Quark: OKAY COME OVER.

twenty minutes later
Quark: I WILL RECREATE MY MORROWIND CHARA--omg so many options.
Jade: Here we go again.

thirty minutes later
Quark: Man, I wish I could change that blue eyeshadow.
Jade: ...you...could have?
Quark: Wait, really?
Jade: ...maybe you should go back to the character generation screen.

five minutes later
Quark: Argh how did I do her nose? I just don't remember!

twenty minutes later
Jade: Wow, the warrior opening is so much better than the mage opening. You get a family! You're a noble!
Quark: Yeah, but they're all going to die.
Jade: Yeah, but look at the time put into this! They really want you to feel loved before they slaughter everyone!
Quark: And I get a dog!
Jade: WHAT.

ten minutes later
Quark: Does the internet tell you how to get to the larder?
Jade: The internet says you have to start over.
Quark: WHAT?

twenty minutes later
Quark: YES THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED!

one hour later
Quark: omg Alistair.
Jade: omg Alistair.
Quark: omg.
Jade: omg.

--a break for dinner--

five minutes later
Quark: HA he likes me better than you!
Jade: Please excuse me, I'll just be weeping silently in the corner here.




Quark: I just want to scritch his hair.


Lin: I agree with Alistair!
Quark: Subtle? I think not!
Jade: omg.
Quark: WAIT this is where you lost five influence points, right?
Jade: ...yes. Say you want to see him in a dress! SAY IT.
Alistair: For you, maybe.
Quark: *GASP*
Jade: *TITTER*
Quark's Mommy: ...
Quark: This is so bad. It's like, there's blood and we're killing things everywhere, OH ALISTAIR.
Jade: Oh no, the king's army is going to die, omg Alistair.
Quark: HA! ALISTAIR APPROVES PLUS ONE.
Jade: PLUS ONE, THAT'S NOTHING.
Quark: I'm so excited, here we go, let's go kill things, here we go! LIGHTNING! RAIN! ARMIES! MOMMY, YOU GOTTA WATCH THIS! LET'S GO!


Jade: Wait, did you give Alistair your family shield?
Quark: What, no! It's--oh my God, did I sell it?
Jade: You did not sell it. Oh my God, you did not.
Quark: IT'S NOT IN MY INVENTORY.
Jade: You're serious.
Quark: I CANNOT BELIEVE I DID THAT. I'M SO ASHAMED.
Jade: Wow.
Quark: Well, sorry Dad, hope you weren't too attached to that...aw man. I'm really glad my dad is dead and can't judge me.
Jade: *types away*


omg this game. Runs so much better on her machine. But I don't even care. It is so good, and I am so happy it is in my life.

Comments

Re: THIS IS NOT A REPLY IT'S MORE LIKE AN UPDATE

[loquaciousquark.livejournal.com]

i assume that you were successful transferring the saved game, since you didn't tell me how long you spent going through the beginning again

man

if i can get enough money out of this to avoid needed leliana any time soon, she is so gone

and my dad is letting me have the computer again, so i will come back!